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Brooklyn Decker, the sexy actress married to Andy Roddick, started a firestorm with her remarks about a reference to “butt clamps” in the book Fifty Shades Of Grey.

According to Contact Music, here’s what she said about her attempt to read it:
“It’s really inappropriate… She (James) talks about butt clamps… I haven’t finished it yet. I can’t continue.”

The picture above is a butt clamp…ouch!

Brooklyn Decker continues to tell Conan O’Brien and his sidekick, Andy, about this butty subject…

“It is crazy, wild”

“It talks about butt clamps. Have you ever heard about that?”

Then Conan joins the mad rambling “That’s for jump starting your bike? It is an electrical device”

Andy adds in his point: “Chapter 17 butt clamps”

Andy continues: “I have never heard of a butt clamp”

“It sounds like more of a functional thing which might come in handy”

“Iphone google butt clamps”

Conan “Buttclamps.com”

We have conducted a thorough study on the subject of butt clamps. Below are the fascinating things we learned.

First, according to Wiki Answer butt clamps are used for welding to hold 2 parts together end-end.

We found a few pictures of butt clamps on industrial sites. Once we saw the pictures were perplexed. The author of this article likes to think of himself as an adventurous sexologist, but butt clamps look painful. What in the world does a person (or couple) do with butt clamps?

According to the Urban Dictionary, a butt clamp is “A wonderous device to help you survive in prison against horny inmates.” As an example, they characterize a butt clamp in this way “Tony used his Butt Clamps right before he got in the shower and saved himself from the painful agony of the other inmates.”

Pondering all things butt clamps, we became frustrated that there was no authoritative source we could consult. Brooklyn Decker had stumped Conan, Fifty Shades readers and the free world in general. What are we to do? The butt clamp investigation continues.

For a bit of color, we consulted the Fifty Shades Of Grey book. Pouring over the book we see that EL James talks about anal sex, fisting, chaining, shaving, butt-plugs, genital clamps etc. However, we cannot find a reference to butt clamps! If you have made it this far with our story AND you know of a reference to butt clamps in The Book, please let us know.

It is quite possible that the intriguing butt reference that Brooklyn Decker was searching for was “butt clamper”. According to the urban dictionary,
A “Butt Clamper” is someone that uses there anal muscles to clamp onto a penis so hard that the penis cant exit. They illustrate the term in this way “Hey Dana quit being a Butt Clamper.”

In case you have some idle time, there are some fascinating “butt words” that you might like to read about on the Urban Dictionary. Below is a list of some intriguing words. Use your imagination and see if you can guess what the words mean. There is a link to the Urban Dictionary below.

Butt Chugging
Butt chuggler
ButtChug Metal
Butt Chum
butt chump
butt chunk
Butt Chunking
butt chunks
Butt Chutney
Buttcicle Nob Slap
Butt Clamper
Butt Clamps
butt clap
Butt Cleaner
butt cleavage
Butt cleavage dress
butt clench
Butt Clencher
butt clit
Butt Clown
Butt Club
Butt Cluster Bomblets
butt coaster
butt cobbler
butt cobra
Buttcock Utopia

Click Here To See The Urban Dictionary

There is so much more that we have to say about this Brooklyn Decker mystery, BUTT it is getting a bit late. Should you have any clues about the use of butt clamps in sex, or in any other manner that is not industrial, please write.


Fifty Shades of Grey
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